Questions related to the law and psychological guidance account for the majority of calls received by counselors. Yan Dongjie reports.

In June, Huang Henggan, who works as a phone counselor for the V-Love Mothers Hotline, received a phone call from the angry mother of a 2-year-old child in Qingyuan, Guangdong Province.

The woman told Huang that she had divorced her husband to get away from his abusive behavior, but his family was refusing to hand over the child, despite a ruling by the judge who oversaw the divorce proceedings that the mother should have custody.

She said she had turned to several hotlines, including 12345, the government's support hotline, the All-China Women's Federation, and facilities operated by the courts, legal aid groups and other organizations.

Eventually, she called V-Love, a public welfare program that provides legal and psychological support for single mothers and women facing marital difficulties.

Although from the legal perspective, Huang, a law graduate, could only advise the woman to apply for the court order to be enforced, she told him that she felt that he really cared for her feelings, unlike people at other legal support hotlines she had called.

She explained that she did not dare apply for the court to enforce the custody order as it could lead to a criminal record for her ex-husband, which would have a negative effect on their child's development, so Huang helped her contact a psychological counselor and gave her emotional support.

"At the beginning of the call the woman was calm, but when she mentioned that she had not seen her 2-year-old child for several months, she became very emotional and I could sense her anger and helplessness," he said.

"Sometimes the law can't solve every problem, especially when it comes to families, marriage and children. When I answer the phone, I can feel that the callers need my help and support."

The 30-year-old is perhaps the man most able to empathize with a single mother, having joined the hotline at the end of 2020 with the task of providing legal advice. So far, he has answered more than 1,600 calls.

Like many law graduates, Huang initially dreamed of becoming a judge or a lawyer, resolving difficult cases. However, he accidentally discovered a talent for comforting people when he replied to a despairing post on Weibo, China's Twitter-like service, several years ago.

"I comforted an unknown Weibo user, so she sent a long message thanking me for giving her great comfort and strength. That was touching, so I decided that I could do something that helps people in a warm way, which doesn't have to be grand," Huang said.

Emotional Support

According to statistics released by the All-China Women's Federation last year, there are more than 24 million single-parent families in China — 70 percent of them are single mothers — and the number continues to rise. That's about seven single mothers for every 200 families. About 63.5 percent of respondents said they earn less than 4,000 yuan ($547) a month.

Meanwhile, a survey on the living conditions and needs of single mothers in 10 cities released by the China Research Society of Marriage and Family, said the most urgent social service needs of single mothers are legal aid (46.4 percent) and psychological counseling (43.7 percent).

Huang said the mother in Qingyuan was typical of many women who call the hotline: they are easygoing by nature, but they can be very strong when forced to face difficulties, especially when their child needs protection. Huang is also affected by these forces, so he has a good understanding of the woman psyche.

He answers an average of four or five calls a day, listens to people tell their stories and describe their problems, and offers advice from a legal perspective.

In the past three years, the caller who impressed Huang most was Wang Jing (not her real name), who was close to retirement age.

Wang and her husband had a son, who would soon take the college entrance exam, and a daughter, who had already gone to college.

Her husband had a successful career, while she was a homemaker who took good care of the family. In the eyes of outsiders, they were a model family.

However, Wang told Huang that she had been stunned when her husband told her: "The children have grown up. You are no longer useful to this family, so you must leave."

Huang said, "Wang was very confused, she did not understand why she had worked hard for her family for decades in exchange for such an outcome." He added that as the woman was deeply dependent on her husband, especially financially, the expulsion had left her helpless.

"She wanted to know why. She didn't want to leave the house."

Huang said that although Wang told him she had never felt there was a problem with her marriage, he suspected that she knew something was wrong but was unwilling to admit it and had actively been hiding it.

Wang said her husband gave her 7,000 yuan a month in cash, and the amount hadn't changed over the years. If that sum was not enough, her husband would not give her one more cent, so she was forced to borrow money from friends and relatives, then return it the next month.

"The husband was so resistant to Wang that he even took important documents, his wallet and smartphone with him when he took a shower," Huang said.

He said Wang consulted him six times, and by the end of their long period of communication, he was very surprised to see how the woman's attitude had changed.

"At first, she didn't want to leave her husband — even though she couldn't figure out why — and she wanted to find a way to stay with the family," he said. "But in her last phone call, she told me that she had decided to sue for divorce and that the legal knowledge I had provided would help her stand up for her rights and obtain her own financial security. I saw a change in her. No woman is weak — they are strong when they have to be."

Huang said that if the caller asks for legal advice, it usually takes about 30 minutes to assess all the issues and give reasonable counsel based on the other person's situation, but sometimes all the caller really needs is to talk.

Expert Teams

The V-Love Mothers Hotline was launched by Vipshop, an online shopping program, on Mother's Day, 2019. Since its inception, the hotline has received more requests for psychological counseling than for legal help.

In terms of legal advice, V-Love's duty lawyers, who all have experience of handling marital and family disputes or litigation cases, provide free guidance for single mothers so they can avoid the dilemma of "not knowing the law or not understanding the use of the law", Huang said.

When it comes to psychological counseling, every member of the expert team holds the national registered psychological consultant certificate and has practical experience in matters related to family relations, women emotions and the growth of children and teenagers. All of this can help solve single mothers' problems and relieve psychological pressure.

During his three years with the hotline, Huang has heard many family stories that sounded like TV dramas. He said that it's essential to separate work and life and not to let his work affect his emotional stability. In fact, his job has helped deepen his understanding of and respect for his girlfriend of three years.

"I think some women are less robust (than men), and I know how they feel if they get hurt. I know that they need respect, understanding, support and care, which has had a good impact on my own relationship," he said.

Overall, issues related to domestic violence, divorce process consultation, child custody, unfaithful husbands and the division of property account for the highest number of problems described by callers, he said

Huang was forthright when asked what advice he had for women before marriage or childbirth.

"Don't regard marriage or having children as a way of solving problems. Many people think that when a couple has a relationship problem, just getting married or having a child to bond with each other can help solve it, but that move often backfires and leads to more serious consequences," he said.

Leaders in the Field

In recent years, a growing number of companies and organizations have begun paying attention to the health of mothers. As such, they have started public welfare projects to provide convenience in daily matters, to protect women's health or to help them realize their dreams and those of their children and other family members.

Several of the most prominent are listed below.

1. The V-Love Mothers program, initiated by Vipshop, an online retailer, provides legal and psychological assistance for single mothers. Since the end of 2017, Vipshop has invested 10 million yuan ($1.3 million) to set up a special fund for single mothers in need, providing services such as health security, financial assistance, educational help and the protection of rights. The hotline is part of the program.

2. The Mothers Health Express focuses on women's health. It was initiated by the All-China Women's Federation, the China Women's Development Foundation, China Construction Bank and several other institutions and enterprises. Launched in 2011, the program has nearly 1,000"Mother Health Express" vehicles, which provide various forms of medical and health services in 27 provinces and municipalities, spreading health concepts and knowledge that benefit more than 20 million people.

3. Water Cellars for Mothers focuses on the shortage of water resources, primarily in the western regions. It was initiated by organizations and businesses such as the All-China Women's Foundation and Pepsi (China) Investment. The water supply project has been in operation since 2001, helping people in affected areas, especially women, overcome the health and livelihood problems caused by severe water shortages. By 2021, it had benefited more than 1 million people in 11 provinces and autonomous regions in West and Central China.

4. Mother Love Warm Heart Package. Initiated by the China Women's Development Foundation and China Post, it collects donations and sends items to mothers in need, relying on 36,000 postal outlets nationwide. It mainly selects daily necessities for poor mothers and encourages people to deliver "mother mail packages" via a "one-to-one" donation model to help solve difficulties in the women's lives.

5. The Single Mothers Support Program. Founded by the One Mother Mental Health Service Center, it focuses on the mental health of single mothers. This public welfare project is aimed at women who have suffered great psychological trauma after getting divorced or becoming widows and are raising children by themselves. Through online platforms, offline afternoon tea and workshops for mothers, the project aims to improve the women's inner strength, develop positive attitudes, and promote the healthy growth of their children.

6. Working Mothers Healthcare Action, which provides medical assistance to women who work away from home, was initiated by Jingdong Health, the China Social Assistance Foundation and the Beijing Cooperative Social Work Development Center. The project cooperates with a number of medical product companies to donate self-testing kits for HPV, as well as supplements and health products for mothers in the migrant worker group.

7. The Startup Cycle Fund for Mothers, launched by the China Women's Development Foundation and Legend Holdings, provides startup funds for women and supports them in founding their own businesses. Since it was started in 1996, this public welfare project has provided small, interest-free loans to rural women in poor areas to help them engage in small and micro entrepreneurship, and to provide employment to help raise their incomes and assist with poverty alleviation. It's a classic example of a successful joint solution to social problems provided by the government, enterprises, women's federations and society.

8. The Super Hero Mom help plan, initiated by the China Women's Development Foundation and Tencent, is dedicated to linking resources to help women participate in public welfare work to aid women. The project aims to give better play to the power of women within the field, help more women with related ideas to realize their dreams and allow such welfare to cover more vulnerable groups. It has supported more than 100 women's welfare organizations working in many fields, including employment, health, education and environmental protection, and it involves more than 500 women practitioners of related welfare activities.

(Source: China Daily)