Chinese mother-in-law and non-Chinese son-in-law

What is life like for a Chinese woman who lives under the same roof as her non-Chinese son-in-law? In Yang Yang's family, her mother, surnamed Li, and her British husband, Peter, found they had to cope with cultural differences almost daily, but they did so with love and humor. They also went out of their way to find the most comfortable way to get along, and to ensure their family experiences were nothing but  joyful and happy.

Under One Roof

Yang, a native of Beijing, has a Douyin (also known as TikTok, a short-video-sharing platform) account, Sister Yang in Australia, on which she has recorded the daily life of her cross-cultural family.

By the end of February, her 265 videos had attracted more than 2.39 million followers, and the videos had received more than 31.46 million likes. Netizens have indicated they have been impressed by the happy and harmonious atmosphere in the transnational family.

In 2006, Yang moved to New Zealand to pursue further studies. There, she met Peter, and they got married. They eventually moved to Sydney, in Australia.

One day, in 2013, Yang called her mother to say she often felt exhausted, as she suffered a decrease in her body's immune system due to the work and study pressures she was under. So, her parents decided to move to Sydney to take care of her. As they didn't speak English, and as Peter spoke little Chinese, amusing misunderstandings often occurred.

One morning, while Li was preparing breakfast, she used a little pot to heat up milk. When she noticed Peter exiting his bedroom, she handed him the pot and said, "Helping me pour the milk into four glasses on the dining table. It's for our breakfast." Peter looked puzzled, as he couldn't understand what Li meant. Then, Li made the gesture of drinking.

After everyone sat down to eat breakfast, Li noticed the milk wasn't on the table. Yang asked Peter where the milk was. "I thought your mother wanted me to drink up all the milk. So, I did. I am already full," Peter said, with a shy smile, and then burped. They all burst into laughter.

After Yang regained her health, her mother decided to stay in Sydney, even though her father returned to Beijing. Li also helped take care of Yang's two children, daughter Ella and son Eric.

While they lived under the same roof, Li and Peter often felt the differences between the Chinese and Western cultures. Peter respected Li's lifestyle. Li often asked Yang about Western culture and customs, so she could better understand Peter, and more easily get along with him.

Vegetable Garden

Li sometimes felt lonely in Sydney, as she didn't speak a lot of English, and as she had few friends in the city. So, how did she spend her spare time? Li planted and tended vegetables, like she did in her small courtyard in Beijing.

Yang and Peter had a beautiful garden in their yard, and Peter liked growing and taking care of various flowers and plants. At first, Li used a small area in the garden to grow lettuce and Chinese cabbage. Peter felt helpless when he saw the vegetables thriving in his garden, but he chose to respect her mother-in-law's hobby.

One day, Li picked some green vegetables and gave them to Peter. She said, "Tonight, I will use these fresh vegetables to cook a dish for you. It will be very delicious." Peter took the vegetables, made a funny face behind Li's back and, with a smile, looked at his wife and shrugged his shoulders. Yang was very much amused by Peter's funny reaction, so she captured a short video of him and her mother.

Yang uploaded the short video to a video-sharing platform, where it was viewed more than 10,000 times within a short period of time. Netizens commented on the video, with many saying it was very interesting, and adding they hoped to see more videos featuring cross-cultural family life.

Li began growing more vegetables, and eventually her vegetable garden attracted the attention of their neighbors. Some neighbors moved their flowers and began planting vegetables in their own gardens. "Planting vegetables is enjoyable and economical. Why not do it?" Li says, proudly.

Gradually, Peter took an interest in his mother-in-law's vegetable garden. He often asked Li what the vegetables were called. He taught Li to speak basic English, and she taught him to speak basic Chinese. Li's grandchildren helped her water the vegetables. Li taught her grandchildren to speak the names of the vegetables in Chinese.

Li waters vegetables in the garden.

Li is a good cook, and she is especially good at cooking Beijing dishes. Peter enjoys eating Chinese cuisine, and he has joked that he has a "Chinese stomach." Sometimes, Peter's colleagues visited his home to enjoy authentic Chinese dishes.

During weekends, Peter often cooked Western dishes, such as roast steak and baked corn. Li refused to eat medium-rare steak, as the blood in the steak made her feel uneasy. Similarly, Peter wouldn't eat boiled pork giblets with baked wheaten paste, a traditional Beijing dish.

Sometimes when Li was cooking, Peter would joke around, such as dancing with a pan, pretending the pan is a guitar.

Peter eats spring onion with soybean sauce.

Li returned to China at the end of last year. Although they no longer live together, they will never forget the happy and joyful times they used to have under the same roof.

Photos Supplied by Yang Yang 

(Women of China English Monthly March 2021 issue)