A photo of Li Yan's parents (taken in 1992)

Li Yan, founder of Second Study, a private library in a community in Beijing's Haidian District, is a member of China Family Education Society, and an ambassador for parent-child reading promotion in China. Li's family has been named a National Reading-loving Family, and a National Most Beautiful Family.

A family photo of Li Yan (taken in his parents' courtyard, in 2010)

Photos of my family can be found in every corner of my house. These photos can string together fragmentary memories, and bring me back to the happy time when I was young and stayed with my parents. Photos are records of family culture, and they help link parents and their children. 

Mother's Words

My father was a teacher of the fine arts. He often expressed his thoughts and feelings through his artworks. My mother was born into a farmer's family, in 1937. Although she received little school education, she was smart and kindhearted. She had a big impact on my four siblings and me. 

Throughout her life, my mother always bore hardship without complaint. She was diligent, and the last photo of her was taken while she picked Chinese red pepper in the courtyard. 

When I was a kid, we lived with the big family of my father. My grandfather was disabled, and my grandmother had a stomach problem. My mother took good care of each member of the family, especially the elderly. Life was tough at that time. Due to lack of food, sometimes my mother had to borrow from our neighbors. She kept a note recording the neighbors' names and the amount of food they had loaned us. When we had abundant food, she gave back food to the neighbors, one by one, according to her note. 

My mother often told us to be kind to others, and she loved to help others. Because she was the first in our village to master the skill of using a sewing machine, she made clothes for many villagers. She was often glad to lend a hand when other families in the village prepared for a wedding or funeral. 

However hard life was, my mother never allowed us to give up our academic studies. Before she learned to read, she could only ask others for help when she received letters from my father. After she became literate, she enjoyed reading all kinds of books. 

I fell in love with reading at a young age. Once, my cousin, then-secretary of the village's Party committee, visited us. My mother asked me, when I was 6 or 7 years old, to read a newspaper to her. My cousin was surprised that I could read quite fluently. Maybe the experience of reading the newspaper was the start of my story of promoting family based reading. 

Respecting the elderly, caring for your spouse and children, enjoying helping others … I think these simple values are the most precious things that my mother taught me. 

The families of my siblings and me are all harmonious and happy, and we love and support one another. We understand the hardship our parents undertook to bring us up. We reunited with them every Spring Festival, and we often took them on trips. 

Both of my parents have passed away. They were ordinary parents, but they were great ones. Their sterling qualities, and their earnest words, will always be on our minds.

A family photo of Li Yan (taken during Spring Festival 2015, on February 19)

Nature-Oriented Education 

I think my parents knew best how to educate children. Why? They raised their children based on the rules of children's growth, and they guided their children to experience the changes of four seasons in nature. 

My wife and I raised our daughter, Li Ruochen, with education concepts similar to those of my parents. We brought her to my parents' house in the countryside during vacations, and we let her build close connections with nature and our big family. Li Ruochen enjoyed life with her grandparents and relatives in the countryside. 

Efforts of three generations, at least, of a family are needed to pass down good family traditions. My mother told Li Ruochen, “You must be good to your parents, as they put a lot of effort into giving you the best education.” Based on her good memory, my mother told Li Ruochen many family stories, some of which were quite memorable. My daughter wrote down the stories, and she said she will write a memoir based on the stories. 

Before Li Ruochen went to the United States to study for her master's degree, she visited my parents in Linfen, a city in North China's Shanxi Province. In my opinion, the building of emotional connections between two generations of a family is important. Parents should grasp the time when their children are dependent on them to build such a connection. With connections, children will be willing to go home and visit the seniors after they grow up. 

Education should not depend solely on parents and school. An environment with diversity is necessary for cultivating children's personalities, and sociability. The more connections one has with his/her family members, the stronger will be his/her vitality. 

Talking about the secret of being a happy family, I think companionship and reading are important. Exploring the unknown and allowing each individual to bring something new are also good for a family's development. 

Good family traditions and family education should embody simple love and respect for nature and life.

Photos Supplied by Interviewee

(Women of China English Monthly July 2023 issue)